And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
