I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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