she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize