You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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