You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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