Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
