Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
