i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
