But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
