I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
