There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
