dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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