ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
