just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
