and i looked up. we had an audience...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
