I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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