Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize