How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
