i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
