The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
COCAINE IS GR8
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
