Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
