Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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