so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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