Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
