i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i need some magic done to my vagina
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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