I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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