Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize