There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize