piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
