So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
