Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
