Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
