The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
