I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
