How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
