I just saw a hot homeless man
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
