Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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