ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
birth control should be required to get into college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
