before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
