hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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