I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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