he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
