whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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