forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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