I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Of course I have a pirate flag
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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