I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
