I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
