Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
