And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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