very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize