I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
