Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize