If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
