No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
