When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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