So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize