I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
