I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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