Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ok first of all what the fuck
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize