Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
