I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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