I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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