we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
