is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
