That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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