she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she smelled like a LAN party
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
