did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
