Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
