So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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