For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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